Patriot #FirstWorldProblems

Patriot Post | Heather Walton | February 24, 2016 SATIRE

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Sometimes being a Patriot is just too hard.

We have all these everyday struggles that make us curl into bed, and say with teary eyes, “poor, poor me.”

Here’s a simple grocery list of what Patriots say they have to deal with everyday.

1.) My iPhone cable can’t reach my bed.

2.) I have too many chips for my dip, and if I open another canpatriot_probs of dip, I’ll have too much dip for my chips.

3.) My vape is dry, and my favorite juice is across the room.

4.) My baguette from Panera is too small for my soup.

5.) My shampoo and conditioner never run out at the same time.

6.) The plates at South Side are always too hot to hold (it makes my fruit warm, who eats warm fruit?).

7.) Construction at Mason woke me up way before my alarm went off.

8.) There is never an empty practice room in the PAB.

9.) My 8:30am class actually expects me to be there (and functioning) at 8:30am (uhm, no).

10.) The Wifi on my computer and my phone changed from MASON-SECURE to

(C.C. BY-SA 4.0)

MASON again! (Why is does the MASON network even exist? It never works!)

11.) I can’t even connect to Mason wifi, I have a Mac!

12.) When you want to go to bed, but your roommate is having sex.

13.) I can’t decide on which show to binge watch on Netflix, instead of doing my homework.

14.) They keep taking Chic-Fil-A off of Tapingo!

15.) When people keep ruining your Friday by reminding you it’s actually Tuesday.

16.) When your homework prevents you from procrastinating.

(C.C. BY-SA 3.0)

17.) When people try to use study areas to socialize.

18.) When your professor says they will not be using Blackboard (Really? I have to keep up with my work in two locations now?.

19.) 7:30am labs (need I say more?)

Despite our first world problems, we still love our campus.

We would just love it more if they didn’t start construction at 7:00am, or have reliable wifi connections.


**Featured Image (CC by 4.0)