As a member of American society, you’ve been bombarded with the message that your scent is a vital part of sexual attraction.
There are tons of deodorant and perfume companies that make billions from selling these marketing campaigns.
Take Axe deodorant for example, they frequently invade your television sets (and minds) with the message that their deodorant will make guys irresistible to women. And horny little middle and high school boys eat that shit up! They’re willing to try just about anything to increase their chances of “getting some.”
You and I know, though, that this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Axe deodorant is repulsive in its forceful scent that fills entire rooms of people with watery eyes. Middle school teachers are the real heroes dealing with these scents on a daily basis.
For your amusement (and horror) let’s break down this Axe commercial:
Watched it yet? … Yeah…sorry about that.
So what we have here is that message that this older, attractive guy spraying disgusting amounts of axe all over his body is bringing out the primitive instincts in bikini-clad, amazonian women. Now, I know that feminists will say this is offensive to women (and it is), but it’s also offensive to guys. This is a visual trap for those pubescent, hormone-filled teenage boys aimed at heightening and exploiting their sexual desires. But hey, it works. Axe stays at the top of the men’s deodorant companies off of these marketing campaign strategies.
Other companies like Right Guard sell products with pheromones in them to up your attraction game. Pheromones are chemicals (typically airborne) that some animal and plant species release to attract mates. Scientists have managed to isolate the odor-producing pheromones in mammals such as goats and pigs, but so far no pheromone chemical has been isolated and identified in humans.
This is a visual trap for those pubescent, hormone-filled teenage boys aimed at heightening and exploiting their sexual desires.
But that hasn’t stopped numerous deodorant companies from using “pheromones” in their products. Well…they aren’t being entirely dishonest. Many of these products do contain pheromones: animal pheromones from pigs. So grab that stick and slick on that pig sweat! I’m sure it will make you irresistible when you’re on your first date or when you’re swaggering into your classes and sitting close to your crushes.
Alright, let’s not get too carried away!
Don’t toss away all your deodorants and perfumes and leave the rest of us to suffer. The point here isn’t that deodorants and perfumes are evil, but that deodorants alone aren’t going to get you on that date. So slick up, spray on (sparingly, please) your deodorants and perfumes of choice, but stay away from the ones that promise too much. We don’t want to cover ourselves in pig pheromones, do we?