12 Things Fuckboys Text

How to Detect and Decode their Texts

Shits & Giggles | Juliann Phan, Katie Schrum, and Narlyn Marcelino | February 29, 2016

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1. Oh sorry, my bad didn’t see your text until now.

We all pull this card at some point to get out of an obligation or conversation all together. Yes, some of us miss texts, but if he uses this 7 days later after your last text, chances are he saw your text and dodged it.

via urbandictionary.com

2. Haha, and then what 😉

The infamous I-want-to-see-nudes-but-suck-at-flirting. Don’t trust the winky face anymore — we have emojis, trust those.

3. I had a dream about u last night.

This an excuse for someone from your distant past to come back. Don’t let them in, or let them — maybe the dream is a good laugh for the day.

4. lmao u wild wyd.

I am guilty of this, if used humorously, it’s a classic. But when you’re getting this in a text or Snapchat past 1am as a caption…ABORT. Do. Not. Entertain. This. Man. (or any man for that matter).

5. Wanna play 20 questions?

The ultimate fuckboy game. They try to trick you into thinking it’s a getting to know you exercise but really they just want to know how much sexual experience you have. If you’re ever asked this, run the hell away.

6. You awake?

If this was a friend at like 10 pm there would be nothing wrong with it but if you get one of these from a guy at 2am he wants to sleep with you. Do not answer this message.

7. Why do you have to be like this?

Usually sent when you figured out they’re probably a fuckboy and they’re mad you don’t want anything to do with them anymore. Probably a good idea to just block them now.

8. So what are your likes and dislikes 😉

They don’t want to know what movies you like or foods you hate. They want your whole sexual history and wants via text. It’s weird and intrusive especially if it’s randomly thrown in the conversation.

9. I miss you

Attention ladies, this is a PSA. If he hasn’t been answering your calls or texting you in what feels like forever, he ain’t that into you. Homeboy is trying to retain what he believes belongs to him, but remember you don’t need him, and you certainly do not have time for his sudden party invitation.

10. Let’s chill

Where do you think “Netflix and chill” came from? If he texts you this, do not waste your time, RUN FOR THE HILLS! He doesn’t want to watch indie films with you.

11. I don’t have any friends

This one is usually followed by “that’s why I always have the house to myself.” He doesn’t have any friends only when it comes to you. He must know your entire world, but his world must not know about you. Not to mention, his house is always available. Typical.

12. Come over

Boy does this seem like an innocent text or what? If he texts you this before morning time, it definitely does not mean he wants to see you. Fuckboys are creatures of the night, the vampires of this generation. They lurk social media updates for any vital signs of femme fatale. Their lives are fueled by sexting and nudes along with convenient sleepovers. Trust me, you do not want to find yourself under their arms between the hours of 10pm-6am. They’ll drain whatever little hope you had in this generation right out of you.